God Is Ugly & Crafty

Hephaestus’ Forge‘ tells the tale of a master craftsgod, known for his skill and cunning, a most ‘ungodly’ appearance, a war thwarted by an arranged marriage, an unfaithful wife, and an inspired girdle!

Hephaestus was the Greek god of fire, craftsman, forges, artisans and a number of hot crafty related things.

So put down that glue gun
and read his tale.

Hephaestus had powerful parents!

Zeus, his father had a problem on his hands. Many of the male deities wanted to marry the beautiful Aphrodite. Their fighting grew more and more problematic for Olympus. To finally put an end to the quarrels for her hand, Zeus arranged a marriage for her with Hephaestus.

It was his ugly appearance that inspired Zeus to choose him, so that the match would not inspire jealousy among other male deities. It was also his ugly appearance and a lack of love in the match that caused Aphrodite to have many affairs with both gods and men. The Dom Deluise type with a club foot was not for her.

Tired of the humiliation

One day Hephaestus created a magic net, which he would use to catch Athena and the war god Ares in bed together. He would bring them together before the gods and thoroughly humiliate them among their peers. Poseidon felt so sorry for them he convinced Hephaestus to release them and paid their fine for the indiscretion.

Maybe Hephaestus should have ‘borrowed’ Aphrodite’s credit card and visited my website!

In his forge on Olympus, Hephaestus would go on to produce many of the gadgets and equipment of the gods, like Hermes winged helmet. He had also made Aphrodite’s girdle which inspired love and passion, which perhaps worked a little too well.

Hephaestus Forge
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Move over Victoria’s Secret. They don’t make girdles like they used to.

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