I have a confession to make. This blog is, after all, Confessions of a Pot-a-holic.
This is a case where I have given everything away in the headline. I mean why not? I am going to get a little vulnerable here.
My confession is that I have PTSD.
Now my intention is not to get into the reasons behind this, or how much PTSD sucks sometimes. I want to talk about the one thing that has made the biggest difference in helping my journey of healing.
Throwing pottery on a wheel.
Probably not the answer you were expecting. And I stumbled upon this quite by accident.
It was never my intention to learn to throw on a potter’s wheel to help my PTSD. In fact, learning how to center clay on a potter’s wheel may have made it slightly worse some days! But yet there was something about it that kept me coming back.
Was I under the spell of the clay? Or was I looking to create some order inside me?
It took me awhile to find out. I was not a natural. To be honest, I kind of sucked. I was also not in a place of order.
Like the un-centered clay I was slightly off kilter. Some days, more so than others. But, I was determined.
I would center that clay. And one day I did. Perfectly.
And beyond my joy at actually doing it I felt something else. A calmness. A peace. And maybe a little bit of serenity.
And also fear. The fear that I would never be able to do it again. That maybe it was just a fluke. That maybe it was just a lucky coincidence.
But it wasn’t. I may have not centered the clay every time perfectly. But that became a more frequent occurrence. And then it became easier and easier, until eventually I could center the clay perfectly. Every time. And it became easy.
And as I progressed, I also felt a lot more centered. It felt like being in the flow, going with the tide, floating down a gentle stream.
Was the clay a metaphor for my own journey?
I believe it was more than that.
There is a moment, just before centering clay on a potters wheel, where everything goes from chaos to order. Where the clay glides effortlessly through your hands. There is a certain stillness in that moment. Not only for the hands, but also for the mind.
There is a stillness in the clay once it is centered. And for some reason it cultivates a stillness within me and as I open up the pot, raise the walls and shape it, I am in the flow.
Things don’t always go how I plan. Sometimes I pull the walls too thin. Sometimes I react too quickly and the pot gets bumped. Sometimes I stretch the clay too much when shaping it. Sometimes the pot collapses.
But do you know what the beautiful thing about clay is?
You can wedge it back together. And get it back on the wheel.
The wheel still moves, but eventually, the clay is centered.
And somehow, so am I.
Wishing you all inner peace,
The Alchemist
**Photo Credit: Peter Reid Photography**
Me too. Its amazing the various ways trauma occurs to cause PTSD. There is a CPTSD thats from emotional stress thats what I suffer from. Narcississistic abuse.I write on WordPress and read books on YouTube. Our peers teach.
I would say that your pottery efforts have indeed worked for you. Peace.
Art
Thank you, Art! I appreciate your kindness 🙏
Pot-(ganja)holic (obsessed with clay) and raku 🔥 burning 🔥 bright red brown and blue 🤩 what ya meeting of ya proverbial 🙌 ON YA WHEELS🙏🐕♒️😃😄🎈😎🙋have a productive day 👍🏾
An artist friend’s painting and sculpture helped him in much the same way. He’d been in the DMZ in Vietnam and couldn’t talk about it. Last year, he returned to Vietnam to do a collaborative work with a dance company.
What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing that, Carol!
I’m glad that creating pottery has helped you so much! 😎🇨🇦
Thanks! I most definitely am as well 🙏 Keep well!
Who’s a wizard that enjoys using clay? Harry Pottery
your most touching post yet! So glad we could be with you on your journey….
Thanks for being here Esbie! 🙏♥️🙏
Bravo ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you 🙏 I hope you are keeping safe and well
Thank you for sharing such a moving story!
Thank you for reading it, Stacy! I am glad to hear that it resonated with you 🙏
Concentration and focus helps the mind.
It most definitely does. I appreciate that pottery allows me to do so. 🙏 I hope you are keeping safe and well!
It’s good that you have found solace in your pottery
Thank you Vivienne, I agree! I feel very blessed 🙏
So great you’re in a better place. Life is definitely worth living and wisdom, even in pottery comes with age… lol
Thankfully one doesnt have to put oneself in a kiln at 1000 degrees to get that wisdom, which is nice!
Art is so powerful, glad it has helped you too!😊
It sure is! So glad it has! sounds like it has been good for you as well? 🙏
My husband has PTSD, I wish he could do something artistic to help him cope.
takes all kinds! creativity is so diverse, from cooking to writing poetry to photography to coding. being able to freely express is very healing regardless of the medium I think
Good point! Thanks x
Awesome! So glad you found something that made you feel the relief of your burden. Thanks for sharing, and happy potting!!! 🙂
Thanks for reading! I appreciate it and hope you are keeping well! 🙏
Thanks to your blog, I am beginning to appreciate pottery on a deeper level.
What a lovely thing to share! So glad to help introduce you to a bit more about pottery. There is much to learn and I am very much still learning.
Well…glad you found something that works well for you keep it that way.
Thanks Vincent! Much appreciated 🙏
Amazing tenant
So inspiring! Thanks for this post. 🙃
So glad to hear it resonated with you Ashwini! Thank you for your kind comment! 🙏
Thank you for sharing this. I subscribe to your blog because I have this calling to get my hands involved again in the making of things – for my mental health. Your little posts in my inbox keep me reminded of my own needs –
You never know what a tiny confession can do in the world. 😉
Hi Ren! So happy to be a part of your process! Getting one’s hands into clay (or even playdough or other things!) is a lovely thing to do. 🙏
We certainly can all feel like we are collapsing over and over again these days. I am ‘centered’ when I paint or write music. I get lost in the process and find a great peace from creating.. I tried the pottery wheel a couple of years ago. First time since high school. Oh man. It was SO stressful …ha ha. I wanted my bowl to be perfect the first time but the walls were too thin. I can imagine how good you must feel when you feel in control and let yourself fall into the beauty of creating. Peace. Peace indeed.
It is a lovely feeling! I paint as well and it has its similarities with being in the flow and being centred. A wonderful experience to create! So glad to hear that it resonates with you Laura! 🙏 Keep well
This is weird but I just found this comment section now. And yes, I love your stories and work!
Wow, love this
Thank you! So glad to hear you like it! I hope you are keeping well 🙏
Beautiful expression of self. I love your pottery (particularly those owls)and am happy you have found a way to deal with PTSD. I tried thowing clay on a wheel once or twice and was a miserable failure. Maybe I should have been more persistent. But, recently was reintroduced to Roku pottery and am in love all over again. Best, Ginny
Wonderful to hear, Ginny! So glad to be a part of your pottery journey! If you would like to see more owls as well, they are all up at http://rakupottery.ca/raku-owls
Persistence in pottery pays off! Alliteration as well it appears!
I hope you are keeping well! 🙏
good posting, nice job with choses words👍
maybe we must take it easy sometimes 🎉
Thank you! 🙏 Good to relax sometimes for sure!
Ya yearn for Jajaja otherwise ya isn’t worth viviendo y’all support the veterans and autism Speaks Jajaja love ❤️ ya
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! I’m glad you have found an outlet that creates such stunning work and also helps you heal.
You are most welcome! It has been a wonderful journey with pottery so far and much more to come! 🙏
The imagery in sculpture is a form of poetry of naturalism.
What a lovely way to describe it! Thank you for sharing and I hope you are keeping well! 🙏
Pottery is a lovely form of art and way to help your mental health!! ❤️
Beautiful, like “A Vase of Dreams”!
i understand how you feel!! as a child i didn’t know what i was meant for in life. A ceramic class was offered to me as a sophomore in high school and i felt ——peace—— i didn’t get on the wheel and really feel good about it until i took college classes and i have 10 hours a week to sculpt and throw on the wheel. i now am starting my own business and i have my own studio :)) i am complete 🤍🍶
Well, I’m a little late to the party. Again. Wonderful. I can’t say I have the same experience when I paint, but it’s as close to meditation as I’ve ever been. Congratulations.
Beautiful artwork, and healing for the soul indeed.
Thanks for sharing. I understand. I am so happy you do what you do. Very best wishes for finding the joy in each pot you throw–whether or not it’s perfect. Sounds like you do.
Great post that highlights your self awareness-Loved the following words “Like the un-centered clay I was slightly off kilter. Some days, more so than others. But, I was determined.” When we add persistence to our lives it is amazing the growth that often occurs. Thanks for all the likes!!!!
You are most welcome! Thank you for reading!
Oh my God, I adore this. Thank you. <3
Oh this was beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
It took me a few years, but I too found my center, and never lost it again
Like every other warm-hearted individual here, I am touched by your sharing. In 2003, I rolled my Jeep in Utah and emerged with a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury and also PTSD. My healing process included walking a labyrinth nearly every day, and when I was able, knitting. Both activities helped me to re-connect right and left brain hemispheres. I suspect you were doing something similar: joining your creative, artistic impulses with the highly focused, fine motor skills that the potter’s wheel demands. Clearly, your exquisite Work reflects a deep reservoir of soul and spirit.
I LOVE your work… I took pottery in college (Decades ago) and then got back into it about 10 years ago, but this n that happened… and now my art is painting, collaging and multimedia… but i have to admit, the clay still pulls at my heart… especially when I look at yours… I’m glad it helped with your inner demons… art is like that… you can ONLY think of art while you’re doing it… it grounds you. I wish more people knew or understood that. Thank you for sharing this.
I’m glad that pottery helped with your ptsd…..nice blog by the way 💕💕
For centering I do ballet, for concentration piano, for getting rid of my anger at the unjust treatment I do cajón. And now that I have the answers as to the “why”, I am improving more quickly.